The practical guide for family caregivers who are already exhausted
You're managing ageing parents, coordinating care, and somehow supposed to make Christmas feel festive. The siblings who've been absent all year suddenly have opinions. Distant relatives will see the decline for the first time. You're dreading it.
Here's how to actually get through it.
Enter your details for instant access.
The holidays used to be chaotic in a fun way. Now they're just... hard.
When your parent's health has changed, the holidays stop being about celebration. They become about performance: everyone acting out last year's script on a set that's quietly collapsing.
You're performing strength. Your parent's performing independence. Everyone else is performing like nothing's changed. And underneath it all, everyone's holding their breath.
The pressure of the season doesn't bring out everyone's best selves. It brings out the most entrenched patterns your family has—patterns that were probably established when you were kids.
Except now: your parent is noticeably frailer than last Christmas. They're slower, quieter, more confused. They're not who they were even six months ago. Decisions need to happen soon, everyone's exhausted, and the decline you've been watching in slow motion is suddenly undeniable to everyone else.
The show can't go on. But nobody knows how to call it.
70% of caregivers worry the holidays will reignite family conflict.
42% of adult siblings report permanent relationship damage from care decisions made under pressure.
You're not imagining this is hard.
— 2025 CARE Index
Scripts for 15+ difficult questions
"How's your Mum doing?" "She seems fine to me!" "Why didn't you tell us?"
The family group chat message
Send this before anyone books flights to set realistic expectations
Your escape route planning checklist
Know exactly how you'll leave if things go wrong—before you arrive
What to say to siblings with sudden opinions
They've been absent all year. Now they're experts. Here's how to respond.
6 scenario-specific survival strategies
First Christmas in care, last Christmas together, visible decline, and more
Permission slips for setting boundaries
Buy the pavlova. Leave early. Cancel Christmas. You have permission.
The January debrief checklist
Don't let the lessons disappear. Use what happened to plan for next year.
Each scenario gets specific guidance, scripts, and strategies in your free guide.
Last Christmas she was forgetful. This Christmas she doesn't recognize her grandchildren. The decline is undeniable but nobody knows how to acknowledge it.
Mum moved into aged care a few months ago. She's safe and cared for, but Christmas won't be in her home. The guilt is crushing.
Your parents are still at home, still "managing," but barely. You're doing most of the managing behind the scenes. Christmas will make the cracks visible.
Terminal diagnosis. Everyone knows. The pressure to make it "perfect" is crushing. Your parent is exhausted but everyone wants more time.
You've been managing everything alone for months. They show up for Christmas with strong opinions, no context, and zero understanding of reality.
Your parent died this year. The family wants to gather but nobody knows how to handle the giant absence in the room.
Get your free guide now—download takes less than 30 seconds
Enter your details below.
Know exactly what to say when Uncle Ray says "she seems fine to me"
Have your escape route planned before you arrive (including code words)
Set a time limit and actually stick to it—even when people guilt-trip you
Send one message to the family group chat that heads off weeks of drama
Lower your expectations before Christmas Eve (not when you're crying in the kitchen)
Know which boundaries to set and how to protect them
Have permission to survive instead of performing perfection
Get through the holidays with your parent cared for and your sanity mostly intact
The holidays are hard enough without trying to figure out caregiving under pressure by yourself.
Get the practical help you need—scripts, strategies, and survival tactics for exhausted family caregivers.
Free download. Instant access. No credit card.
Enter your details for instant access.
Join thousands of Australian caregivers getting clarity, not chaos.
From Vera—your candid companion through aged care
Vera helps Australian families navigate the aged care system with clarity, not chaos. We translate complex aged care information into practical guidance for the decisions you're actually facing.
No glossy advice about "making magical memories." Just real help for when caregiving is hard and the holidays amplify everything.
Vera.